Monday, November 03, 2025
We’ve all had moments in business that take our breath away - not in the good way, but in the gut-punched, shaky-hands way. A message arrives, a tone shifts, and suddenly, someone who once praised your work is questioning your professionalism or intent.
If you’ve ever been blindsided by a client’s criticism or unexpected hostility, you’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. It often means you’ve bumped up against one of your Invisibility Wounds.
Today, I want to walk you through a recent experience that brought this home for me, how I processed it, and what it revealed about the hidden patterns that make many of us, stylists, coaches, and creatives, retreat when we’re meant to shine.
A few weeks ago, I received a message from a former client, someone I’d supported warmly and professionally in the past. Her words were sharp, unexpected, and carried a tone that felt personal and condescending.
As I read the message, my stomach twisted. My heart raced. I felt that familiar queasiness that comes when someone’s energy suddenly turns.
My logical mind tried to make sense of it, but my body had already gone into defense mode. Within moments, my nervous system was shouting: “Hide. Withdraw. Don’t post. Don’t be seen.”
That, right there, is how the Invisibility Wound shows up.
If you’ve never heard the term before, Invisibility Wounds are emotional imprints that form when being seen once felt unsafe - whether through criticism, betrayal, or being misunderstood.
For personal stylists and soul-led entrepreneurs, these wounds often surface as:
Invisibility Wounds whisper, “If I’m fully myself, I’ll be attacked.”
So we stay small, polite, and endlessly accommodating, even when we’ve done nothing wrong.
In that moment, I found myself oscillating between confusion and self-doubt.
I replayed our past exchanges, the kindness I’d extended, and asked myself, “Did I miss something?”
But here’s the truth I’ve learned (through 20+ years in this industry and many trial-and-error lessons as a 1/3 Emotional Projector): sometimes, people’s projections have nothing to do with us.
Their reaction may be rooted in fear, scarcity, or control, but we experience it as personal rejection. That’s the moment we risk dimming our light to stay “safe.”
I caught myself doing exactly that: planning to delay my next post, hesitating to share a new offer, even questioning whether I should use my own ideas publicly again.
And that’s when I realised, this wasn’t just a business conflict. It was an invitation to heal deeper visibility wounds.
If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, here’s what I’ve learned (and now teach inside my programs) about navigating it with grace and emotional authority:
1. Pause before responding.
Your body registers shock faster than your mind. Take a breath. Step away from your phone or inbox. Ground before replying.
2. Name what’s happening in your body.
Notice the sensations - the heat, the tension, the nausea. This isn’t weakness; it’s your nervous system protecting you. Naming it helps release it.
3. Detach from the story.
You don’t need to figure out “why” they said what they said. Their reaction lives in their world, not yours.
4. Respond, don’t react.
Write from clarity, not emotion. You can be firm and kind at the same time. Professional doesn’t mean disconnected, it means self-led.
5. Repair your energy after.
Use tools like EFT tapping, journaling, or gentle movement to clear the emotional residue. I did a full tapping session that day, focusing on the queasiness in my stomach, and felt my power return.
That experience, as painful as it felt, became an initiation.
It showed me where my edges still were, where the fear of being misinterpreted could still pull me back into hiding.
As a stylist and mentor, I talk often about sining, but shining isn’t a constant glow. It’s a practice of returning to your light, especially after it’s been dimmed.
Conflict doesn’t make you less professional. It makes you human.
And for those of us wired to feel deeply, the healing isn’t about becoming tougher, it’s about learning to stay open and visible even when our tenderness is exposed.
Many stylists I mentor experience similar moments and don’t realise what’s actually happening.
You might think you have a “confidence problem,” but really, you have an emotional safety problem.
You’re not scared of showing up, you’re scared of being hurt again.
Here are some subtle ways Invisibility Wounds show up in your business:
| Trigger | Hidden Wound | Common Reaction | Healing Shift |
|---|---|---|---|
| Client criticism | Fear of rejection | Over-apologising, shrinking | Stand in your truth calmly |
| Lack of engagement | Fear of being unchosen | Hustling harder | Rest in your worth |
| Imitation by others | Fear of being erased | Anger or despair | Anchor in your unique energy |
| Boundary crossed | Fear of being "mean" | People-pleasing | Lead with clarity, not guilt |
When you start recognising these patterns, you can choose a new response - one rooted in power, not protection.
1. How can I stop taking client behaviour personally?
Remember, people project from their own lens. Your job is to stay anchored in integrity. Pause before deciding what’s “yours” to hold.
2. What if a client speaks to me disrespectfully?
You can set boundaries kindly but clearly. “Professional” doesn’t mean being passive. Respond with grace, but don’t tolerate tone policing or emotional manipulation.
3. How do I rebuild confidence after being criticised publicly or privately?
Reground through embodiment - walks, tapping, affirmations, or coaching. Confidence isn’t built by suppressing emotions but by processing them safely.
4. Why does conflict make me want to disappear?
Because your nervous system associates visibility with danger. It’s not failure, it’s conditioning. That’s exactly what the Invisibility Wounds Quiz Experience helps you unwind.
When that client message came through, it felt like an attack. But looking back, it was an activation - an invitation to choose self-trust over self-doubt.
Every stylist I know has faced a moment like this.
And every time you meet it with awareness instead of collapse, you build new safety in being seen.
If this story resonates - if you’ve ever found yourself shrinking after a misunderstanding or client conflict, I invite you to join me for the Invisibility Wounds Quiz Experience™.
It’s a 3-week live, guided journey to:
Discover which of the 4 invisibility archetypes is shaping your visibility patterns
Understand the emotional roots of why you’re still not being fully chosen or paid for your brilliance
Receive live trainings, tapping sessions, and embodiment rituals to rebuild your confidence from the inside out
Because you’re not broken, you’re just ready to be seen in a new way.
Join the next Invisibility Wounds Quiz Experience™ here and start reclaiming the safety, radiance, and magnetic presence that’s always been yours. You'll
Because you’re not broken, you’re just ready to be seen in a new way.
Join the next Invisibility Wounds Quiz Experience™ here and start reclaiming the safety, radiance, and magnetic presence that’s always been yours.
6-Figure Mentor To Personal Stylists
I help visionary, ambitious personal stylists scale their businesses with strategy and soul—creating true location and financial freedom.
Aileen is a Certified Image Professiona and CEU provider with the Association of Image Consultants International.
Aileen is an award winning stylist and author of 'The 6 Figure Stylist book' - A personal Stylist Guide To Building A Six-Figure Business.
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FREE TRAINING
How Image Consultants Can Be Fully Booked With Online Colour Analysis...
...using skills you already have!
Sign Up for my 3 part training Now and get The EXACT Same Strategy I used to go from having the odd client here and there to my first 10k month.
