A few days ago, I shared a social media post about my birthday. It was a simple, heartfelt message thanking everyone for their lovely wishes and sharing some of the special moments I had enjoyed—an immersive art experience, a cozy movie night, and a much-needed spa day. It was a celebration of life, a reminder to treat myself well, and an invitation for others to do the same.

​But before I hit ‘post,’ a few nagging thoughts crept in.

For a moment, I hesitated. I felt the pull of an old, familiar conditioning—one that told me to keep myself small, to dim my light, to avoid standing out too much. After all, I grew up in an environment where drawing attention to yourself, celebrating yourself, or even openly enjoying life’s pleasures could be met with judgment.

​But then I checked in with my intention for the post. My intention was not to show off. It was to inspire others to celebrate themselves too, to remind them that it’s okay—more than okay—to take time for joy, for self-care, for moments that make life feel special. And yes, I also wanted to promote my newsletter, because I truly believe in the value I offer to my audience.

As expected, my post received wonderful comments and engagement, but I also knew that there would be some who might silently judge it negatively. Not everyone would approve. Some might think, Well, isn’t she just full of herself?

And I get it. Because for a long time, I felt the same way about people who openly celebrated their lives. I used to think that keeping things private, ‘keeping my powder dry’ as a friend of mine used to say, was the better way to go. Humility was praised. Drawing attention to yourself? Not so much.

​But over the years, I’ve learned something crucial: Often, when we judge others for enjoying their lives, it’s because we secretly wish we could do the same but don’t allow ourselves to.

This fear of judgment is deeply rooted in conditioning. Many of us, especially women, have been raised to believe that taking up space, celebrating ourselves, and enjoying life’s luxuries are things we must earn—only after we’ve worked hard enough, suffered enough, sacrificed enough.

For generations, we’ve watched our mothers, grandmothers, and other women around us put themselves last. They would never dream of asking for something just for themselves. Their needs always came after everyone else’s.

So when we see someone unapologetically enjoying themselves, it can trigger something deep inside us. A belief that says, You shouldn’t be doing that.

​But here’s the truth: You should. We all should. Because keeping ourselves small doesn’t serve anyone.

A couple of days after I posted about my birthday, my brother mentioned that my mother had said she wanted to go see Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy at Gold Class too.

I was stunned. My mother rarely asks for things for herself. She is from a generation where self-indulgence wasn’t the norm, where asking for ‘extra’ was seen as selfish. But here she was, expressing a desire for something purely for her enjoyment.

And that moment was proof that when we allow ourselves to celebrate life, we give others permission to do the same.

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When you treat yourself well, you set a new standard—not just for yourself, but for those around you.

Your joy has a ripple effect. And sometimes, the people who silently judge? They are the ones who need this message the most.

If you’ve ever held back from celebrating yourself because of fear of judgment, here are a few things to keep in mind:

Imagine a world where more women—mothers, daughters, sisters, friends—gave themselves permission to enjoy life. To ask for what they want. To celebrate their wins.

It starts with us.

So, the next time you hesitate before sharing something joyful, before treating yourself to something special, before saying yes to a moment of happiness—remember this:

You are not ‘too much.’
You are not ‘bragging.’
You are showing what’s possible.

And that, my friend, is something to celebrate.

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